so, i haven't written in a while. life has been very challenging lately. i have lost the ability to b.s. and this process of going through life lately has taken me to a new place of raw vulnerability. i'm quite uncomfortable with it. it's good and foreign. i don't write, because i have to face this vulnerability. yeah, i know it's healthy to face inner crap. one of the things i have realized is that anytime we allow ourselves to be refined by God, it's never safe, or comfortable. it's quite the opposite...scary and uncomfortable. i don't like scary or uncomfortable. at the same time i don't want to live safe. so here i am, caught. a good friend, no, a great friend, told me to "keep on keepin' on". at first i heard it and thought, "that's nice". no, there is something deeper here. when life sends you into an almost literal whirlwind, you either remain:
changeless. stagnant. lifeless.
or you "keep on keepin' on":
grow. change. transform.
i know what result i want my life to look like. in the meantime, i'm very uncomfortable. and i don't like it.